People asked, how to let go and move on?
Before you need to know HOW, you need to know WHY is it hard to let go?
Why is it so hard?
- Could be it's because what you need is just an apology from those who hurt you. But unfortunately, most of the time, they won't apologise. I don't know why. Maybe because for them, it's not important? Or maybe it's just that they simply think it doesn't hurt that bad? Or could be, they think you already forget what happen.
- and this is the *mistake* people made (it's not really a mistake because I think, an apology can heal). It's so simple to say "I'm sorry for hurting you" but it takes people to lower down their ego to say "I'm sorry" right? That's why people don't apologise. 🙂
- Why do people want them to apologise? Because sometimes, people tend to BLAME THEMSELVES for what's happening. "Did I do anything wrong?" "Why is this happen to me, God?" "What did I do to deserve this?"
- It really takes time and courage to convince yourselves that it's not your fault. It's a test that Allah let it to happen. He doesn't meant to break us but to mend us. And to understand this concept might take years :')
Take it slowly. Don't be too harsh on yourselves. Healing process takes time. It really is :)
- Because you think, why do those people live happily while you need to live with the scars that is hard to mend.
- How can we apologise people who don't ask for an apology? The resentment inside the heart is so hard to explain. And we didn't notice that we hold a grudge inside us. Is it wrong to hold a grudge? I don't know. For people who are deeply in pain, it's really understandable if you are not being able to forgive. It's sometimes not about the actions, but the hurtful feelings they left, am I right?
- Because you yourselves don't forgive yourselves for not being able to forgive people.
- sometimes you do feel bad for not being able to forgive. But dear people, please understand that to forgive also requires lot of courage and bravery.
- To really forgive and let go really require you to understand yourselves. To understand things that happen in your life. Please know that bad things do happen to good people as well. Like what I said, it's not because Allah is unfair. But because He, with all His wisdom wants to make you grow spiritually healthy. And to understand this concept also takes time. Take it slowly :')
I leave you with a quote from Tere Liye about forgiveness:
"Ketahuilah, saat kita memutuskan untuk memaafkan seseorang, itu bukan persoalan apakah orang itu salah dan kita benar, apakah orang itu memang jahat atau aniaya, bukan.
Kita memutuskan memaafkan seseorang kerana kita berhak atas kedamaian dalam hati"
May Allah heal you with the best healing. May your heart will grow stronger and more beautiful than ever. For every scar, He knows it. For every tear, He sees it. Sincerely, I pray that Allah will heal you. Amiin.