Ramadhan Diary: Matang Mengurus Isu

Lepas sahur, berborak dengan kak Nina tentang karier sebagai seorang psikologis.
Banyak benda yang dapat dan belajar.
Jadi, saya kongsi di sini adalah untuk mengingatkan diri sendiri dan untuk rujukan akan datang

credit: google

So, dear future self,
please read the advice from 21-year-old Azzura okay?

One key point that kak Nina said to me was,
Be mature on what we say.
Being a psychologist (not-yet a psychologist but I know I'd pursue my ambition),
you will deal with A LOT of people with A LOT of issues.
and sometimes the issues are beyond your imagination
and very contradicts with your belief

But, issues are there
Things happen
and people experiences it.
You need to acknowledge that.

Therefore, before you say anything,
Before you write anything,
Always always always reflected back.
Choose a precise word, choose a nice word.
Deliver it with "mercy"

Some guidelines for myself, in approaching issue, remember to stay calm and "rahmah"

1. Does the issue has happened? (i.e. unwanted feelings such as attracted to the same gender)
--> Is it just feelings or he has acted upon it?
--> If it's still feelings, then no sin for him/her.
--> So, you can provide alternative therapy. Don't forget to include spirituality element.
--> Induce the guilt of having unwanted feelings but give HOPE that it will recover if he/she has willingness to fight against the feelings

2. If it has happened, did he/she feels guilty?
--> If he feels guilty, and want to end the sin, guide him and don't judge
--> But, don't give SIMPLE alternative such as marrying a woman. It might not work. Instead, causing harm to the wife
--> So, what to do? counseling first.
--> What if he/she doesn't feel guilty?
--> Look at historical and environmental background to have clear understanding
--> it's important to understand for better alternative/treatment. but not to justify the action

3. If he/she doesn't feel guilty, does he/she just do the sin by himself or does he/she implies the idea to others?
--> If he is implying the idea to other people, then we need to be firm and go against the idea. Fight against the ideology.
--> I'm not sure about the treatment by the way. Later, maybe my future self will figure it out insha Allah
--> But if he just keeps it to himself, then help him as much as you could. Don't feel pressure.
If you can't help, then ask others to help.

However, dear self,
There are some issues that you cannot handle
Acknowledge it and just avoid the issues
Because it might cause more harm than good
Refer them to other psychologists.
Just ADMIT that you can't handle that. Just can't handle.
For example, issues like pedophilia, sex offenders, etc. are just too much to handle.
You can handle the survivors, but not the perpetrators.
So, just refer them to other psychologists.

And, bear in mind,
Sometimes your treatment for some clients might not make them better
Or it could be worse :(
This can happen, dear future self.
So, DON'T BE TOO HARSH on yourself
Take a chill pill and you too need a psychologist for yourself

Do not always feel bad
It just show that you're human and you CAN'T HEAL EVERYONE
Let Allah heal them.
It's kinda dangerous if you think you can heal everyone because you definitely DON'T HAVE THE POWER.
But you can always put EFFORTS and remember, TAWAKKAL.

credit: google

Dear future self,
Sometimes, you just need a break and "me time"
You need to distance yourself from work environment when you're at home
You will have a husband and children
They have their rights and you're responsible for that
Make them feel your existence too okay?
And make them feel that you're WITH them.
Spend quality time with them.
Do not take clients' problems into your personal life

But knowing you, sometimes you'll overthink
So, when you reach that point,
Ask courage from Allah.
Pray. Pray to Him.
Seek support
Support from your family, friends and people around
And plan vacation for yourself
If you could go anywhere (doesn't necessarily far), just go.
Find peace for yourself

That's all from a 21-year-old Azzura.
In a month and a week, Azzura will turn to 22.
So hopefully, Azzura can be wiser and may Allah always guide. 

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